Sunday, September 21, 2008

What would it take to authenticate my niggerness?

So, a while back I was checking out this website that my brother put me up on (what up, S.), it's entitled Stuff White People Like, very interesting and entertaining. One problem though, as I continued reading the posts, I noticed something. I noticed that I like most of this stuff too. I like coffee, I love sweaters, I rock scarves year round, I enjoy sushi, the Daily Show, wine, New Balance kicks, threatening to move to Canada, etc.. In all honesty, from their list of 109 things, I count about 70 things that I love too. My question is, does this make me less Black, am I subconsciously practicing allopphillia (emulating other groups not your own), or am I just doing me, and being from a culturally diverse city, have I become an amalgamation of the melting pot? I'm wondering, because I remember when I was a child in "the hood", whenever a young Black person liked something other than the regular hood staples, they were seen as trying to be White. I've never had that problem (maybe because I'm very niggerish), but my very eloquent sister and driven brother did. My sister told me of how she was told "you speak so well", like it was an astronomical feat for an African American female from "the hood" to use proper grammar and diction. My brother was a gifted student (what happened?), so he went to a private school, and anyone from "the hood" that strives for a greater intelligence, is trying to be White. I know for a fact, that my sister and brother don't strive to be or consider themselves to be White or White-like. So I decided to check out some other sites.

There's this other site, entitled Stuff Educated Black People Like. I guess this is a site dedicated to the black entrepreneurs that get rich and move to the Buckhead section of Atlanta. I don't know, maybe I'm an uneducated Black person, but out of their list of about 30 things, I only found 6 things I like (2 would be Barack and boat shoes). Maybe I just don't have that much in common with these educated Black people that they are referring to. Maybe I'm just a little too niggerish for these educated Black people. But, wait, I have so much in common with White people, I must not be too niggerish. What if I swayed so far away from my people, that I don't have anything in common with the educated ones of my ethnic group? Fuck that, I have to do some more research.

So, I look on Google for Stuff Black People Love, and I am reassured of my niggerness. The site is still under construction, it's crude and uncreative, very niggerish. So I hit up the link to their former site, and it was just as crude and uncreative as I would expected. I would tell you the relation of my likes to their list, but it's not numbered and I'm kind of tired. Let's just say, I like damn near everything on their list. I mean, who doesn't love "chinkiness" and finding out that a criminal is not Black. It made me feel totally secure with my niggerness. It brought me so much relief, I had flashbacks to my nigganigans (nigga shenanigans) as a youth, in my Niggeropolis, studying Niggernomics and Niggerology, trying to maintain my Niggerosity. I apologize to anybody that I offended with my use of the N-word. Damn, I apologized, something else to add to my list of things I have in common with White people. Somebody pass me a Newport, some Kool-Aid and let's spark the revolution.

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!


Maubz said...


Kal Thrace said...

what happened to me?!

What happened to YOU?

Rock Digz said...

What happen to me?

Nothing, I've always had ADHD, I've always been lazy, nothing's changed.

Anonymous said...

this is fucking great.