Sunday, October 26, 2008

Give me 50 thou', small bills, my gold plate. My slang kills, my Benz spills. What up Lilz? Murder one, dunn!

So, I guess it's time to continue with the "Digzionary" and some of the colloquial terms used by some of my folks. Some of these terms are common, some are stupid, some are genius, and most will make you laugh. First, let me begin by saying that I was born in the early 80's, so I am pretty much a cartoon freak. Second, most of my folks were born in the 80's, so they are cartoon freaks. And finally, don't use these terms around those ignorant of 80's cartoons or comic books, the terms will just go over there heads. Now, for the vocabulary lesson.

Let's start with "Chapter 6 : Straight Out of a Comic Book"

Secret Squirrel - A term used to refer to a friend that always has a secret rendezvous to attend. A secret squirrel never wants to divulge information about his/her whereabouts. Usually, a secret squirrel has an ugly significant other they don't want their friends to see. Why are you always sneaking out of the club, you ol' Secret Squirrel?

Quick Draw McGraw - A term used by females that I know (not Biblically) to refer to men who prematurely ejaculate. She told me she was only there for two minutes, called him Quick Draw McGraw.

Hong Kong Phooey - A usually mild manner person who snaps when pushed too far. He was just chilling and then they tested him, he got his Hong Kong Phooey on.

Scrappy Doo - A term used to refer to an acquaintance, not a friend, who always manages to screw plans up (just as Scrappy ruined Scooby Doo). Thanks for bringing the ugly broads, Scrappy Doo. Also can be used as a friend that always claims to be tough, but never follows up on threats (from Scrappy's "Lemme at 'em! I'll splat 'em!"). Scrappy Doo over here was running his mouth and ain't bust his guns.

Dick Dastardly - A person who always has a scheme or plan that sounds pretty stupid to everybody else. Dick Dastardly over here said he got a connect on some scrilla.

Captain Caveman - A friend that is almost always unshaven and disheveled. I need to go and get a Ceasar, I'm over here playing Captain Caveman.

Top Cat / Riff-Raff - The "leader" or the smoothest person in your group of friends (most likely me). That dude Rock Diggie is the Top Cat around here. Far Rockaway Rah-Rah is Riff-Raff in this junkyard.

Snagglepuss - A very flamboyant homosexual or a heterosexual that displays very feminine ways or homosexual tendencies. Cam'ron used to wear all that pink and scream "no homo", 50 made that Snagglepuss "exit, stage left".

Pepé Le Pew - A man who believes he has many females, but in actuality, has no game to speak of. I got like ten birds' numbers and you got none, big talk, no action, Pepe Le Pew.

I also have a couple more words/terms from "Chapter 4 : Love Blackually"

Eblackuate - [i-blak-yoo-eyt] -verb To leave a location because of oncoming police presence. Yo son, Jake coming, time to eblackuate.

Nigotiation - [nig-oh-shee-eyt] -verb To deal or bargain with another, in the hopes of obtaining something for free. Come on kid, you have to give me some type of money, this ain't a nigotiation.

Riniggerlous - [ri-nig-ger-luhs] -adjective An action that is done by a nigger causing or worthy of ridicule or derision; absurd; preposterous; laughable. Dude put rims on a Kia, that's just riniggerlous.

Nigalia - [nig-geyl-yah] -plural noun The decorations, insignia, or ceremonial clothes of niggas. Remember when baggy jeans and Timbs were the nigalia, before the Dayglo kicks and tight jeans?

Niggative - [nig-ger-tiv] -adjective Used in response to statements by niggers lacking in constructiveness, helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness because of seemingly clandestine racism. See, I can't get a job because "the man" is holding me back. (in response). You're just niggative!

Last Blacktion Hero - An African American who has a tendency to speak of an upcoming revolution or their attempts to stop the struggle of African Americans. Who does that vulture Al Sharpton think he is, the Last Blacktion Hero?

I promised last time to add a few terms from "Chapter 2 : Friendly Fire", but I got a little sidetracked and couldn't really get my head around that chapter. So instead I will be adding a few words from "Chapter 5 : Whatever Words". This chapter contains miscellaneous terms used by myself and those within my circle.

Pizzlate - [piz-uhl-leyt] -verb To have sexual intercourse with. Damn, I want to pizzlate Lauren London.

Trauma - [trou-muh] -noun Potent marijuana that produces temporary psychological injury or pain. Yo, I got a mean headache, my cuzino had that trauma last night.

Boonk - [boonk] -noun 1.Disagreeable marijuana. 2.Marijuana laced with another substance. Dude tried to charge me $50 for some brown leaves, like I couldn't tell it was boonk.

Banky - [bangk-kee] -adjective The response to female that you would really enjoy having sex with, as in "depositing in a bank". Yo, Toni Braxton is on the cover of Jet looking really banky.

Pootz - [poots] -noun A person that can do nothing right or is look at as worthless. From the term "poo-putt". George W. Bush is the best example of a pootz.

Beezee - [bee-zee] -noun A person who is physically weak and ineffectual, a synonym for "bitch ass nigga". First, Yung Berg gets ganked in Detroit, then he gets smacked by Maino. Damn beezee!

Deezy - [dee-zee] -noun 1.Word used for an action that is very easy, a mixture of the words "dumb" and "easy". I whipped your ass on Madden, that was deezy! 2.A drink containing vodka and tonic or vodka and Sprite. I was twisted last night, drinking that deezy.

Bong bong - [bong bong] -adverb 1.Used to express affirmation or assent or to mark the addition of something emphasizing and amplifying a previous statement. Did I get that new T.I. album? Bong bong! -noun 2.Affirmative reply. Are you going to the mall? (in response) Bong bong! -interjection 3.Used as a strong expression of joy, pleasure, or approval. Popularized by the RZA. (while listening to a good song) Bong bong!

Suflan - [soo-fleyn] -noun Acronym for "SUcker For Love Ass Nigga". Popularized by Ghostface Killah. Everybody knows that Nas is a suflan.

Cupcakin - [kuhp-keyk-in] -verb The act of constantly spending money, time, or paying too much attention to a person with which you have an infatuation with. T.I.'s song "Whatever You Like" is a prime example of cupcakin.

Following are some words from the subsection of this chapter, entitled "Business Affairs". The word "business" is one of the most versatile words within my vernacular, there are many alternative definitions and spellings of this word. Don't be a pootz, or a beezee, like Yung Berg, and use the wrong spelling of the word.

Bidnezz - [bid-nez] -noun The act of sexual intercourse. Like I've stated before, I'd give Lauren London the bidnezz.

Bizziness - [biz-ee-nis] -noun Something with which a person is rightfully concerned. Jigga said "tell them busy bitches to stay out of my bizziness."

Bidness - [bid-nis] -noun The purchase and sale of illegal goods in an attempt to make a profit. Yo, son on the corner with that "good-good" conducting bidness.

Bizness - [biz-nis] -noun 1.To make difficulties for someone; treat harshly. 2.To scold severely. 3.To physically harm a person. Son tested my manhood, so I had to give him the bizness.

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Tell mommy I don't go to the Church, tell Ak' I don't go to Mosque!

I guess it's been a while since I went in on a rant about religion, but nothing really made me want to, then it happened! The other day, like every Saturday, a group of Jehovah Witnesses came knocking at my door. Back when I was younger, the knocking of a group of Witnesses was a chance at hilarity. The best time is when my uncle opened the door nude, hilarious! When my father would answer the door, he would invite them inside for a discussion on religion. To what my father ask them questions that they could not easily answer was funny to me. It may be weird to some, but during my prepubescent years, my brother and I would read encyclopedias during downtime between commercial breaks on "The Incredible Hulk". I enjoyed reading about mythology and religion (which are basically the same thing), and that leads me to the following post.

If God is willing to prevent evil, but is not able to,
then He is not omnipotent.
If He is able, but not willing,
then He is malevolent.
If He is both able and willing,
then whence cometh evil?
If He is neither able nor willing,
then why call Him God?

"The Epicurean Paradox"

For the uninformed, the above quote is one of the ancient Greek philosopher Epicurus. Epicurus is known as the founder of the school of Epicureanism, a belief in Atomic Materialism. Atomic Materialism is a mixture of social atomism and materialism. Atomism is the belief that society should be viewed in terms of the individuals' importance and that society is artificially constructed. The philosophy of materialism holds that the only thing that can be truly proven to exist is matter, and is considered a form of physicalism. I consider myself an Epicurean, because I believe that the universe revolves around the interaction of matter, just as society revolves around the interactions of individuals. As an Epicurean, I prescribe to the idea of self-fulfillment. Now, I know that somebody out there reading this is going to say that the idea of self-fulfillment is blasphemous. Or that the belief in personal responsibility is totally contradictory to the belief that a supreme being is in total control of the entire universe. (Dare I say that the idea of one being hearing the mumblings of billions of people is as asinine as the idea of one man delivering presents to billions of people worldwide in one night.) I am also a Deist, and Deism is the belief that there is a "God" that created the physical universe but does not interfere with it. Contrary to popular belief, if you don't prescribe to one of the major religions, you are not automatically an atheist, maybe irreligious, but not automatically atheist. In the words of Styles P, "I pray to Allah, but I'm too foul to go to the Mosque!"

Rational [rash-uh-nl] : being in or characterized by full possession of one's reason; sane; lucid.

Illogical [i-loj-i-kuhl] : contrary to or disregardful of the rules of logic; unreasoning.

Supernatural [soo-per-nach-er-uhl] : of, pertaining to, or being above or beyond what is natural; unexplainable by natural law or phenomena; abnormal.

Magic [maj-ik] : any extraordinary or mystical influence, charm, power, etc.

Fantasy [fan-tuh-see] : a supposition based on no solid foundation.

Schizophrenia [skit-suh-free-nee-uh] : a severe mental disorder characterized by some, but not necessarily all, of the following features: intellectual deterioration, disorganized speech and behavior, delusions, and hallucinations.

Crazy [krey-zee] : mentally deranged; demented; senseless; impractical; totally unsound.

The words and there definitions were attached to this composition in order to aid you in understanding the underlying theme. Since the words above will be used considerably throughout the text, I put them up to make it easier for you to comprehend my ideas. The basic theme of this post, is the harm that radical and irrational belief can have on society as a whole. Most people would agree that mentally deranged persons, or crazy people, can be a threat to not only themselves, but to others.

Most religious people that I have had discussions with have labeled my opinions as irrational. By me saying that they can't prove that a "mystery God" (as the Five Percenters call it) exist, I was in someway being irrational. To believe in what is determined as real using the five senses, sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell, is somehow irrational. Obviously, these people have never cracked a dictionary, or they would know that being in possession of ones reason is the definition of rational. Reasoning is coming to a conclusion based on facts, which is what is determined as real using the five senses. It's beyond reasoning that there is some invisible hand controlling what is going on in the world (unless you're talking about the shadow government that they call the Illuminati), it's illogical. Back in May of last year, I asked "Do you believe in magic?" to all of the religious folks out there. Usually that question would receive a stern "No!", but that's only because they don't know the definition of magic. When you ask a Christian "How did Jesus perform the miracles?", they will tell you that as the son of God, he was able to do supernatural feats. So basically, Jesus had some mystical power over the world, and that he could do things beyond the known natural constraints of the world. In other words, he did magic tricks! Now, religion is based on faith, or belief that is not based on proof (check your dictionary). You know what other word has that same exact definition? Fantasy! You follow this ideal based on fantasy, and I'm the irrational person? You throw out facts for fantasy, some talk in tongues, some talk to an invisible God. In psychology, they call a person that does these same things a schizophrenic. The following of religion is totally impractical, it's a belief system based on unfounded evidence, which by definition makes it's followers crazy.

You can see the harm that religion does everyday. From the crazy Muslims that kill themselves and others in the name of Allah. The crazy Jews that will willingly kill to take control of some "sacred land". Or the crazy Christians that will kill to keep women from being in control of their own lives, other religions being able to stay in their own homes (Palestine), and basically do anything to push their Christian beliefs on the world. I'm not going to go as far as Mel Gibson, and say "Jews are responsible for every war" (but they sure had a hand in most of them), but I'm going to say that religion had a position in almost every war ever fought. For something that's supposed to bring people together, it sure as hell has a way of tearing people apart. Maybe I'm wrong for believing religion is dangerous, but I personally fear religious people more than I fear the "immoral" irreligious folks. Religious folks will die for what they believe in, and in a lot of cases, kill for what they believe in. Most irreligious people are living for the reason just to live, while religious zealots are living to get into Heaven or Jannah, and they'll do anything to get on that guest list.

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Rebel to America... I'm causing hysteria!

I was at one time a member of the United States Air Force, not a good member, but a member none the less. During my tenure as an Airman, I probably did some of the dumbest things I've ever did. I won't go into my nigganigans, let's just say that I was a habitual line stepper, "rabble rabble!!" For my actions, I was sent to a "motivational" program that they called Correctional Custody, twice (yeah, I didn't learn the first, or the last time). While in CC, we were woken up by music blaring, crappy music, mainly "God Bless the USA" by Lee Greenwood and "America" by Neil Diamond. When you marched out of your quarters (room), their were American flags on every wall. Almost every three days (I was in for 30), we would watch videos about patriotism and what it means to be a patriot. This bombardment of American propaganda is supposed to stimulate the forgotten patriotism within us ill behaved members of the military. I on the other hand just saw it as brainwashing, Manchurian Candidate style brainwashing.

My brother, and most of the people that I went to elementary school with, will tell you that I have never been patriotic in the terms that "Real Americans" speak of. When I was in elementary school, I bucked the system and refused to stand for the Pledge of Allegiance (they called my pops and he told them to go fuck themselves, I'm paraphrasing). So, when I decided to join the military, my father questioned if it was a good choice (I should have question it too). In my house, when I was a child, Louis Farrakhan was a voice that was heard, as well as Malcolm X. I read the scribes of Marcus Garvey, Noble Drew Ali, and Imaam Isa (before the molestation thing). I was well on my way to embracing the notion of being anti establishment. The strangest thing about my anti establishment views is that most of my employed life was spent working directly for the government.

So, after years of working for "the man", I am back to being a civilian, and being even more anti establishment. During my time as a government employee, I learned just how much this government sucks at their job. But, I'm not going to go into a rant about the shitty bureaucracy that we call the American government. I want to address the asinine assumption that there is a "Real America" and the unpatriotic big city America. I happen to be from a big city that some of you may have never heard of, New York City. I may be critical of America, okay, I am very critical of America. I distrust and sometimes downright despise the American government. I distrust and sometimes just hate most Americans. Sometimes I sit and watch the populace of America and I find them totally stupid. When people are screaming these idiotic slogans like "God bless America and nowhere else", "if you don't like America, leave", and other nonsense, I begin to throw up a little bit in my mouth. It's insane, in my opinion, the intolerance of Americans. Take for example, when a misinformed lady told John McCain that Barack Obama was an Arab. He tried to correct her by saying "He's a decent family man...", basically saying that an Arab man can't be a decent family man. Or, how about Sarah Palin saying that big city Americans aren't hard workers, aren't kind, courageous or good. Must I remind her that the hardworking, courageous members of the FDNY ran into the World Trade Center on September 11th, 1999. Must I state that on that same day, I, myself, an "unpatriotic" big city native, was prepping airplanes that were to protect America. Now, I'm not going to spend an entire blog bashing the Republican party, because Democrats suck just as much (Vote Cynthia McKinney), but what makes being an intolerant, misinformed, bumbling idiot at all patriotic. I've got to say, I love being tolerant, I enjoy staying informed, I would love to be an elitist (I am), and if that makes me unpatriotic, then so be it.

By the way, the definition of Elitism is the belief that certain persons or members of certain classes or groups deserve favored treatment by virtue of their perceived superiority, as in intellect. I don't know about anybody else, but I would love for our President to possess intellect higher than Joe Sixpack or Joe the plumber (whose not even a licensed plumber). Does anybody actually want an idiot in that position? We've had that for eight years now, are you satisfied? Hey, I'm not going to use this as a platform for Barack Obama, lets just say that I would never vote for John McCain with "Caribou Barbie" as his running mate. Also, I've resided in the "Real America" and the unpatriotic America, and I've got to admit, I love this big city life. I love the coffee shop talks about politics, I enjoy the opportunity to be friends with a diverse group of people, and I mostly love the 24 hour bodega (bet y'all don't have that in Wasilla).

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Ladybug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

All your songs, it's a shame, they cheesy! Wonder why people don't go and spend their change on the weekly!

Like most days, today I was "retiring Duce Staley like the 2006 Philadelphia Eagles" (taking a shit). And whenever I have a "running back", a Duece McAllister, if you will, I like to listen to music to soothe the savage beast. The selection for today's playoff game happened to be Lauryn Hill's "The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill". As I was listening to "Superstar", that invention that my high school's namesake (Edison) took credit for went off in my head. Lauryn's words echoed within my cerebral cortex, "Now tell me your philosophy / on exactly what an artist should be. / Should they be someone with prosperity / and no concept of reality? / Now, who you know without any flaws, / that lives above the spiritual laws / and does anything they feel just because / there's always someone there who'll applaud?". For a song written in 1998 (targeted at Puff Daddy, or whatever his name was that day), it still rings so true today. I don't listen to the radio much these days, and since Rap City has been taken off the air, I've been using the Interwebs to listen to new music. And even though everyday I hear a new track, or five, I'm still not impressed.

I can remember back when I was in high school, my cucalidae (family name for Cuckoo birds, in the Digzionary defined as [koo-koo-lee-dey] -noun Friend, from slang word cuckoo, meaning crazy, synonym for "Loc") and I would hit Jamaica Ave. to cop the new drop almost every Tuesday. We'd rip the package open, pop the cassette or CD into our Walkmans, and vibe out. I can still envision us on the Q113 or the A train with our headphones on nodding hard as hell to whatever dropped that Tuesday. We would pick up the Source (before Benzino ruined it) or XXL and check the release dates, and we'd be in the store that day. If it was a special edition that we couldn't get on Jamaica Ave., we'd even ride all the way to Manhattan, just to get it out of Tower Records (RIP) or the Virgin Megastore (RIP). A release was like an event, the posters plastered on lamppost down Guy R. Brewer Blvd., the promotional vans driving down Jamaica Ave., monumental! Tearing open that sweet poly wrapping on that new cassette or CD felt like unwrapping that first present on Christmas. Now, it's like unwrapping all your presents and getting nothing but socks (thank you Grandma!).

I remember thinking how fly the Wally Champ was with the robes.

Anybody that grew up in the same generation of Hip-Hop as me, they can remember Tuesday, August 1, 1995. I will remember that day for the rest of my life. I just graduated junior high school, it was a wonderful New York summer, and I had to hit the record shop. This wondrous event, I believe, is the reason for the record dryness in New York City that August. The release of that record made it a hot summer (unlike the one that Cam'ron promised back in 2007, that clown). We can all remember the picture of Raekwon blowing smoke out of his mouth, with the Wally Champ behind him with fingers pointing out like pistols ready to kill other emcees. Close your eyes, can you remember running a key or your fingernail along a crevice in the cassette case to crack the shrink wrap. Then you popped open the case, and to your amazement, there was this purple tape sitting inside. You inserted it into your Walkman and zoned out, losing yourself inside the tales that Rae and Ghost told. I know that I, myself, was fixed in a state of awe, as soon as I heard Ghostface say "Yo, son, check the fly shit,son!". Forever I will remember the day that "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...", aka "the purple tape", dropped. Can anyone name an event like that in this Billboard chasing Hip-Hop world.

There has been albums that dropped to crazy anticipation, "Get Rich or Die Tryin'", "The Black Album", "The Eminem Show", etc.. But even though these releases had great first week sales, they didn't have the same impact as the releases that my friends and I ran to the store for. Can you remember the last time you listened to an entire rap album, without skipping one song? Can you remember when you actually listened to a rap album? Probably not, you probably just download the hot songs to put on your iPod. Unlike the rest of the Hip-Hop community, I'm not going to blame the Interwebs for the decline in people buying albums. No, not at all, I blame the artist (if you can call them that), they seem to have no clue on how to make an actual album. Think back to the albums of the Golden Age, they had an intro, skits, songs with themes, an outro, and great song configuration. Albums today are just a bunch of songs thrown on a CD, no theme, no configuration, just a bunch of songs thrown together. Where's the intro, the skits, the theme, the configuration? Listening to an album today is like boonk ([boonk] -noun 1.Disagreeable marijuana 2.Marijuana laced with another substance), you hit it, smack your friend that gave it to you, an never touch it again. Albums from the good days were more like potent trauma ([trou-muh] -noun Potent marijuana that produces temporary psychological injury or pain.), you'd buy it, smoke it, forget where you left it, and cop it again (I brought almost every album from the Golden Age at least twice). But, more importantly, I blame the listeners for allowing this crap to happen. When the listeners aren't demanding more from the artist, they can expect the whole "moppet having sex effect" (one shot and done). We, as listeners, need to put these rappers into the pressure cooker and try to make them into emcees.

I've gotta cop me a robe!

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I know you like the way I'm freakin' it, I talk with slang and I'ma never stop speakin' it!

So, anybody that reads my blog or talks to me, knows that I use numerous slang words. I am from the "hood", so when I converse, or I should say "politic/polly" or "conversate", I use street vernacular. I want to let everybody enter my mind, so I will like to introduce you to the "Digzionary". Some of these words may be familiar to you and some of them may be new, whatever the case, enjoy them and use them well.

Let's begin with "Chapter 4 : Love Blackually"

Nigger - [nig-er] -noun 1.A term used between ignorant friends. 2.A person showing a lack of care, knowledge or training. 3.A person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid. 4.A weak-minded or idiotic person. You're my nigger!

Niggerdom - [nig-er-duhm] -noun The state of being or becoming a nigger. Actions that are stereotypically done by niggers. I don't practice that niggerdom!

Niggeropolis - [nig-rop-uh-lis] –noun, plural -lis·es. A neighborhood that is largely populated by niggers. Far Rockaway is such a niggeropolis.

Niggernomics - [nig-er-nom-iks] -noun 1.(used with a singular verb) the science that deals with the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services, or the material welfare of niggers. You spent your rent money on sneakers, stop practicing niggernomics. 2.(used with a plural verb) financial considerations; economically significant aspects: What are the niggernomics of such a project?

Niggerosity - [nig-er-os-i-tee] –noun, plural -ties. a. The property of a nigger that resists change from said nigger's niggerdom. b. The measure of the extent to which a nigger possesses this property. That nigger DMX got arrested again, he has the highest niggerosity I've ever seen.

Niggerology - [nig-er-ol-uh-jee] -noun 1.The science that deals with the origins, physical and cultural development, biological characteristics, and social customs and beliefs of niggers. 2.The study of niggers' similarity to and divergence from other people. 3.The science of niggers and their works. Chris Rock is always talking about the difference between Black people and niggers, he's very verse in Niggerology.

Nigganigans - [nig-an-i-guhns] -noun The mischief, deceit, trickery, or underhanded acts associated with niggers. Maino smacked Yung Berg, he's back to his nigganigans.

Niggerdry - [nig-er-dree] –noun The art, skill, or accomplishments of a nigger. Tracy Morgan is hosting "Hip Hop Honors", he pocesses some amazing niggerdry.

Niggerish - [nig-er-ish] -adjective Of, pertaining to, befitting, or resembling, a nigger. Rock Diggie is so niggerish!

Niggerant - [nig-er-uhnt] -adjective An action by a nigger due to or showing lack of care, knowledge or training. Look at them rims, that's so niggerant!

Exblackly - [igz-blak-lee] -adverb As you say. Used to indicate agreement, sarcastically, with a racial statement pertaining to African Americans. They're going to find a way to keep Obama out of the White House. (in response) Exblackly!

Blackually - [blak-choo-uh-lee] -adverb As a sentence modifier to add slight emphasis, used in response to a stereotypical assuption. Yo, son, you got any Kool Aid? (in response) Blackually, I only drink water!

Blacktastic - [blak-tas-tik] -adjective In form, conception, or appearance that is in stereotypical African American fashion. The lights went out about three times at the club last night, so blacktastic!

Terms for females (sorry ladies)from "Chapter 3 : The Oviary"

Bird - [burd] -noun From British slang. A young woman. I met this fly bird at the club last night.

Duck - [duhk] -noun An unattractive young woman who believes she is attractive. Usually has low intelligence or common sense. Usually kept around as a substitute for when no other female is available. Yo, she's an ugly duck, but she's easy, and I don't have anyone else.

Pigeon - [pij-uhn] -noun A falsely appealing female, uses her friend's car, money, clothes, etc.. Tries to date men to get something out of the relationship, being rides, money, clothes, etc.. She's a pigeon, that's her homegirl's shit she rocking.

Chicken - [chik-uhn] -noun A female that uses sexual acts for monetary gains. Sometimes refered to as a Chickenhead. She wanted me to cop her a #1 from Mickey D's just cause I hit it, damn chicken!

Goose - [goos] -noun Similar to a duck, but more attractive. Usually has low intelligence or common sense. Usually kept around as a substitute for when no other female is available. You couldn't get no bird, I bet you can talk that dumb goose into it.

Swan - [swon] -noun A female that was once unattractive but has became extremely attractive. Yo, she was ugly as fuck back in junior high, but that swan fine as shit now.

Dodo - [doh-doh] -noun A female that is very dim-witted and slow-reacting, Not neccessarily lacking intelligence, but very slow to respond. Sarah Palin is a dodo!

Owl - [oul] -noun An acronym for Over Weight Lady. Jennifer Hudson can get it, even though she's kind of an owl.

Ostrich - [aw-strich, os-trich] -noun A female whose lower anatomy is better than her upper anatomy. Usually long legs and a nice butt. Damn she's an ostrich, look at that ass, but don't look above her waist.

Turkey - [tur-kee] -noun A promiscuous female (turkeys get stuffed). You might catch something, that bird is a turkey.

Quail - [kweyl] -noun A young female that tries to fool men into thinking she is not a minor. R Kelly is a quail hunter.

Roadrunner - [rohd-ruhn-er] -noun A prostitute. (got another definition, a little too dirty, even for this blog) My dude told me he went up to Hunts Point to get a roadrunner for his bornday.

Phoenix - [fee-niks] -noun The perfect female, a person of peerless beauty or excellence. Sometimes refered to as "wife material". Named after the mythical bird (because this bird is pretty much mythical too). I thought Jessica Alba was a Phoenix, then she up and married that lamo.

Rest in Peace, Marlon "Brando" Bryant

Stay tuned for more words out of the "Digzionary". Next time we will go over "Chapter 6 : Straight Out of a Comic Book" and "Chapter 2 : Friendly Fire".

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Ladybug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!