Teach the students what needs to be taught, cause Black and White kids both take shorts!

The readers of my blog know that for the past few years, I have been very worried about the Pussification of the world. I've been trying to impel the masses to revolt against this threat on manhood. The unstable influx of tight jeans, man-scarfs, DayGlo shoes, and other less than masculine objects that men have begun wearing, is blurring the line between flamboyant Gay's and straight men. What ever happened to real manly men like "Ironside", Raymond Burr; what, "Perry Mason" was gay? Okay, whatever happened to manly men like "Stewart McMillan", Rock Hudson; what, Rock Hudson was gay too, come on, it was "McMillan and Wife", not "McMillan and Husband". Okay, whatever, back to what I was really talking about. I was concerned with the Pussifaction of the world, but yesterday, I found a new scourge threatening the world's sensibilities, the Stupidification of the world!



Yesterday, I was on the telephone with my cuzo, Heezy, he was telling me about his school assignment. The assignment was to pick your favorite song and write about how it reflects society, pertaining to business (he's in business school). He told me that the song he decided to use was "Ebonics" by Big L (a song I embedded in a prior blog entry). The conversation led me to start thinking about the subject matter that is taught in schools presently, mostly I thought about "Ebonics" classes, which was pioneered by the Oakland, CA school board. Ebonics, supposedly, "linguistic and paralinguistic features which on a concentric continuum represent the communicative competence of the West African, Caribbean, and United States slave descendant of African origin", or as I refer to it, "stupidity rewarded". I may not be a linguistic expert, an English professor, and I, very frequently, use "African American Vernacular English", but I know that teaching this substandard jargon to children is counterproductive. When Merriam-Webster, the definitive lexicon, interpolates words, such as "conversate" (the correct word is "converse"), "ain't" (the correct word is "isn't"), and "crunk" (there's no correct word, this is just stupidity), it signals the end to education. Come on, they can't be serious, "ginormous", "himbo", "bling-bling", these are words that have been added to Webster's Dictionary. I understand that if the popularity of a word increases in the vernacular of the masses, dictionary publishers must add it to the word stock. But am I the only one that is a little scared that this is just awarding the misuse of well established words (what's next, adding "nahmean" to the dictionary?). Will it one day be acceptable to respond to questions during a business meeting with a loud "bong-bong"? When I was younger, a person from my neighborhood whom used correct grammar was seen as "trying to be White" or a "smarty-art nigga", will that be the norm for everywhere in the near future? Will the world be turned upside-down, and intelligence will be seen as stupidity and stupidity be seen as intelligence, as if we lived in some "Bizarro World" (word to Clark Kent)?

If you ask my sister, she'd probably say that the most degrading things she's ever been called, besides a "nigger", are "articulate", "eloquent", and "intelligible". Like I've said before, when I was younger, an intelligent Black person was referred to as a "sell-out" or an "Uncle Tom" (word to Ralph Nader). It's sort of a veiled insult to call a Black person "articulate", "bright", and "clean" (word to Joe Biden), because it is assuming that Black people, in general, cannot possess those qualities. So, you can call me a "sell-out" or an "Uncle Tom" because I see the teaching of the youth and the addition of ignorant vernacular to the dictionary as a huge disservice to the youth, who are the future!



So, on a parting note, I want to express a great deal of gratitude and appreciation to my family, such as my twin, Sean, my big sister, Si-Lo, my cuzos, Mercury and Starpower (who helped inspire this entry), and the countless others who dedicate their time and energy into the youth of the world. I also want to express the opprobrium I feel for the parents that allow this injustice to take place. When the world allows their children to be cheated out of a proper education and the misappropriation of their mental capacity, we are destroying not only our children, but our future as well (word to Whitney Houston).



Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Give me 50 thou', small bills, my gold plate. My slang kills, my Benz spills. What up Lilz? Murder one, dunn!

So, I guess it's time to continue with the "Digzionary" and some of the colloquial terms used by some of my folks. Some of these terms are common, some are stupid, some are genius, and most will make you laugh. First, let me begin by saying that I was born in the early 80's, so I am pretty much a cartoon freak. Second, most of my folks were born in the 80's, so they are cartoon freaks. And finally, don't use these terms around those ignorant of 80's cartoons or comic books, the terms will just go over there heads. Now, for the vocabulary lesson.



Let's start with "Chapter 6 : Straight Out of a Comic Book"

Secret Squirrel - A term used to refer to a friend that always has a secret rendezvous to attend. A secret squirrel never wants to divulge information about his/her whereabouts. Usually, a secret squirrel has an ugly significant other they don't want their friends to see. Why are you always sneaking out of the club, you ol' Secret Squirrel?

Quick Draw McGraw - A term used by females that I know (not Biblically) to refer to men who prematurely ejaculate. She told me she was only there for two minutes, called him Quick Draw McGraw.

Hong Kong Phooey - A usually mild manner person who snaps when pushed too far. He was just chilling and then they tested him, he got his Hong Kong Phooey on.

Scrappy Doo - A term used to refer to an acquaintance, not a friend, who always manages to screw plans up (just as Scrappy ruined Scooby Doo). Thanks for bringing the ugly broads, Scrappy Doo. Also can be used as a friend that always claims to be tough, but never follows up on threats (from Scrappy's "Lemme at 'em! I'll splat 'em!"). Scrappy Doo over here was running his mouth and ain't bust his guns.

Dick Dastardly - A person who always has a scheme or plan that sounds pretty stupid to everybody else. Dick Dastardly over here said he got a connect on some scrilla.

Captain Caveman - A friend that is almost always unshaven and disheveled. I need to go and get a Ceasar, I'm over here playing Captain Caveman.

Top Cat / Riff-Raff - The "leader" or the smoothest person in your group of friends (most likely me). That dude Rock Diggie is the Top Cat around here. Far Rockaway Rah-Rah is Riff-Raff in this junkyard.

Snagglepuss - A very flamboyant homosexual or a heterosexual that displays very feminine ways or homosexual tendencies. Cam'ron used to wear all that pink and scream "no homo", 50 made that Snagglepuss "exit, stage left".

Pepé Le Pew - A man who believes he has many females, but in actuality, has no game to speak of. I got like ten birds' numbers and you got none, big talk, no action, Pepe Le Pew.


I also have a couple more words/terms from "Chapter 4 : Love Blackually"

Eblackuate - [i-blak-yoo-eyt] -verb To leave a location because of oncoming police presence. Yo son, Jake coming, time to eblackuate.

Nigotiation - [nig-oh-shee-eyt] -verb To deal or bargain with another, in the hopes of obtaining something for free. Come on kid, you have to give me some type of money, this ain't a nigotiation.

Riniggerlous - [ri-nig-ger-luhs] -adjective An action that is done by a nigger causing or worthy of ridicule or derision; absurd; preposterous; laughable. Dude put rims on a Kia, that's just riniggerlous.

Nigalia - [nig-geyl-yah] -plural noun The decorations, insignia, or ceremonial clothes of niggas. Remember when baggy jeans and Timbs were the nigalia, before the Dayglo kicks and tight jeans?

Niggative - [nig-ger-tiv] -adjective Used in response to statements by niggers lacking in constructiveness, helpfulness, optimism, cooperativeness because of seemingly clandestine racism. See, I can't get a job because "the man" is holding me back. (in response). You're just niggative!

Last Blacktion Hero - An African American who has a tendency to speak of an upcoming revolution or their attempts to stop the struggle of African Americans. Who does that vulture Al Sharpton think he is, the Last Blacktion Hero?


I promised last time to add a few terms from "Chapter 2 : Friendly Fire", but I got a little sidetracked and couldn't really get my head around that chapter. So instead I will be adding a few words from "Chapter 5 : Whatever Words". This chapter contains miscellaneous terms used by myself and those within my circle.

Pizzlate - [piz-uhl-leyt] -verb To have sexual intercourse with. Damn, I want to pizzlate Lauren London.

Trauma - [trou-muh] -noun Potent marijuana that produces temporary psychological injury or pain. Yo, I got a mean headache, my cuzino had that trauma last night.

Boonk - [boonk] -noun 1.Disagreeable marijuana. 2.Marijuana laced with another substance. Dude tried to charge me $50 for some brown leaves, like I couldn't tell it was boonk.

Banky - [bangk-kee] -adjective The response to female that you would really enjoy having sex with, as in "depositing in a bank". Yo, Toni Braxton is on the cover of Jet looking really banky.

Pootz - [poots] -noun A person that can do nothing right or is look at as worthless. From the term "poo-putt". George W. Bush is the best example of a pootz.

Beezee - [bee-zee] -noun A person who is physically weak and ineffectual, a synonym for "bitch ass nigga". First, Yung Berg gets ganked in Detroit, then he gets smacked by Maino. Damn beezee!

Deezy - [dee-zee] -noun 1.Word used for an action that is very easy, a mixture of the words "dumb" and "easy". I whipped your ass on Madden, that was deezy! 2.A drink containing vodka and tonic or vodka and Sprite. I was twisted last night, drinking that deezy.

Bong bong - [bong bong] -adverb 1.Used to express affirmation or assent or to mark the addition of something emphasizing and amplifying a previous statement. Did I get that new T.I. album? Bong bong! -noun 2.Affirmative reply. Are you going to the mall? (in response) Bong bong! -interjection 3.Used as a strong expression of joy, pleasure, or approval. Popularized by the RZA. (while listening to a good song) Bong bong!

Suflan - [soo-fleyn] -noun Acronym for "SUcker For Love Ass Nigga". Popularized by Ghostface Killah. Everybody knows that Nas is a suflan.

Cupcakin - [kuhp-keyk-in] -verb The act of constantly spending money, time, or paying too much attention to a person with which you have an infatuation with. T.I.'s song "Whatever You Like" is a prime example of cupcakin.


Following are some words from the subsection of this chapter, entitled "Business Affairs". The word "business" is one of the most versatile words within my vernacular, there are many alternative definitions and spellings of this word. Don't be a pootz, or a beezee, like Yung Berg, and use the wrong spelling of the word.

Bidnezz - [bid-nez] -noun The act of sexual intercourse. Like I've stated before, I'd give Lauren London the bidnezz.

Bizziness - [biz-ee-nis] -noun Something with which a person is rightfully concerned. Jigga said "tell them busy bitches to stay out of my bizziness."

Bidness - [bid-nis] -noun The purchase and sale of illegal goods in an attempt to make a profit. Yo, son on the corner with that "good-good" conducting bidness.

Bizness - [biz-nis] -noun 1.To make difficulties for someone; treat harshly. 2.To scold severely. 3.To physically harm a person. Son tested my manhood, so I had to give him the bizness.



Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Doodlebug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

I know you like the way I'm freakin' it, I talk with slang and I'ma never stop speakin' it!

So, anybody that reads my blog or talks to me, knows that I use numerous slang words. I am from the "hood", so when I converse, or I should say "politic/polly" or "conversate", I use street vernacular. I want to let everybody enter my mind, so I will like to introduce you to the "Digzionary". Some of these words may be familiar to you and some of them may be new, whatever the case, enjoy them and use them well.



Let's begin with "Chapter 4 : Love Blackually"

Nigger - [nig-er] -noun 1.A term used between ignorant friends. 2.A person showing a lack of care, knowledge or training. 3.A person who has been tricked or deceived into appearing or acting silly or stupid. 4.A weak-minded or idiotic person. You're my nigger!

Niggerdom - [nig-er-duhm] -noun The state of being or becoming a nigger. Actions that are stereotypically done by niggers. I don't practice that niggerdom!

Niggeropolis - [nig-rop-uh-lis] –noun, plural -lis·es. A neighborhood that is largely populated by niggers. Far Rockaway is such a niggeropolis.

Niggernomics - [nig-er-nom-iks] -noun 1.(used with a singular verb) the science that deals with the production, distribution, and consumption of goods and services, or the material welfare of niggers. You spent your rent money on sneakers, stop practicing niggernomics. 2.(used with a plural verb) financial considerations; economically significant aspects: What are the niggernomics of such a project?

Niggerosity - [nig-er-os-i-tee] –noun, plural -ties. a. The property of a nigger that resists change from said nigger's niggerdom. b. The measure of the extent to which a nigger possesses this property. That nigger DMX got arrested again, he has the highest niggerosity I've ever seen.

Niggerology - [nig-er-ol-uh-jee] -noun 1.The science that deals with the origins, physical and cultural development, biological characteristics, and social customs and beliefs of niggers. 2.The study of niggers' similarity to and divergence from other people. 3.The science of niggers and their works. Chris Rock is always talking about the difference between Black people and niggers, he's very verse in Niggerology.

Nigganigans - [nig-an-i-guhns] -noun The mischief, deceit, trickery, or underhanded acts associated with niggers. Maino smacked Yung Berg, he's back to his nigganigans.

Niggerdry - [nig-er-dree] –noun The art, skill, or accomplishments of a nigger. Tracy Morgan is hosting "Hip Hop Honors", he pocesses some amazing niggerdry.

Niggerish - [nig-er-ish] -adjective Of, pertaining to, befitting, or resembling, a nigger. Rock Diggie is so niggerish!

Niggerant - [nig-er-uhnt] -adjective An action by a nigger due to or showing lack of care, knowledge or training. Look at them rims, that's so niggerant!

Exblackly - [igz-blak-lee] -adverb As you say. Used to indicate agreement, sarcastically, with a racial statement pertaining to African Americans. They're going to find a way to keep Obama out of the White House. (in response) Exblackly!

Blackually - [blak-choo-uh-lee] -adverb As a sentence modifier to add slight emphasis, used in response to a stereotypical assuption. Yo, son, you got any Kool Aid? (in response) Blackually, I only drink water!

Blacktastic - [blak-tas-tik] -adjective In form, conception, or appearance that is in stereotypical African American fashion. The lights went out about three times at the club last night, so blacktastic!


Terms for females (sorry ladies)from "Chapter 3 : The Oviary"

Bird - [burd] -noun From British slang. A young woman. I met this fly bird at the club last night.

Duck - [duhk] -noun An unattractive young woman who believes she is attractive. Usually has low intelligence or common sense. Usually kept around as a substitute for when no other female is available. Yo, she's an ugly duck, but she's easy, and I don't have anyone else.

Pigeon - [pij-uhn] -noun A falsely appealing female, uses her friend's car, money, clothes, etc.. Tries to date men to get something out of the relationship, being rides, money, clothes, etc.. She's a pigeon, that's her homegirl's shit she rocking.

Chicken - [chik-uhn] -noun A female that uses sexual acts for monetary gains. Sometimes refered to as a Chickenhead. She wanted me to cop her a #1 from Mickey D's just cause I hit it, damn chicken!

Goose - [goos] -noun Similar to a duck, but more attractive. Usually has low intelligence or common sense. Usually kept around as a substitute for when no other female is available. You couldn't get no bird, I bet you can talk that dumb goose into it.

Swan - [swon] -noun A female that was once unattractive but has became extremely attractive. Yo, she was ugly as fuck back in junior high, but that swan fine as shit now.

Dodo - [doh-doh] -noun A female that is very dim-witted and slow-reacting, Not neccessarily lacking intelligence, but very slow to respond. Sarah Palin is a dodo!

Owl - [oul] -noun An acronym for Over Weight Lady. Jennifer Hudson can get it, even though she's kind of an owl.

Ostrich - [aw-strich, os-trich] -noun A female whose lower anatomy is better than her upper anatomy. Usually long legs and a nice butt. Damn she's an ostrich, look at that ass, but don't look above her waist.

Turkey - [tur-kee] -noun A promiscuous female (turkeys get stuffed). You might catch something, that bird is a turkey.

Quail - [kweyl] -noun A young female that tries to fool men into thinking she is not a minor. R Kelly is a quail hunter.

Roadrunner - [rohd-ruhn-er] -noun A prostitute. (got another definition, a little too dirty, even for this blog) My dude told me he went up to Hunts Point to get a roadrunner for his bornday.

Phoenix - [fee-niks] -noun The perfect female, a person of peerless beauty or excellence. Sometimes refered to as "wife material". Named after the mythical bird (because this bird is pretty much mythical too). I thought Jessica Alba was a Phoenix, then she up and married that lamo.

Rest in Peace, Marlon "Brando" Bryant

Stay tuned for more words out of the "Digzionary". Next time we will go over "Chapter 6 : Straight Out of a Comic Book" and "Chapter 2 : Friendly Fire".

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Ladybug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!

Dr. Kanye West or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the New Puff Daddy

The way I'm going to start this post is going to be with a flashback sequence. So, cue the foggy visual and the crappy harp music. I'm going to take you back for a minute. Can you hear the song playing, can you hear it. "Now with Sean on this hot track, melt like it's hot wax", "I was in one bedroom, dreaming of a million", "Put your money on the table and get your math on". You're feeling it now, right? The year is 1997, after successful, critically acclaimed albums by Nas, The Notorious B.I.G., and Wu-Tang Clan, things are about to change. One thing that "Illmatic", "Ready To Die", and "Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)", is that they all had a grimy New York City street edge to them. These albums, as well as "Only Built 4 Cuban Linx...", "The Coming", "Beats, Rhymes & Life" and albums from other regions, such as "ATLiens", "The Chronic", "Doggystyle", and "The Diary", led to the era between the late 80's and 1996 being coined as the Golden Age of Hip-Hop. Everything was right with the world, until, a young man from Harlem, New York, by the name of Sean John Combs, came to change our world. Combs saw the hard edge of rap music and, I guess, he decided to soften it. Combs introduced the Hip-Hop world to Cristal (actually, Wu-Tang introduced it), the shiny suits (actually, Dr. Dre), heavy sampling (Premo did it, only better), he reintroduced dancing (a la Hammer), and jump started the Jiggy movement. On July 1, 1997, "No Way Out" was released, and from there on a bottle would never go un-popped. Following the release of "No Way Out", we were introduced to Bling, Bentleys, brilliant-cuts, and bad music.



Fast forward to our present predicament. There has been a debate going on within Hip-Hop circles for the past few years. A somewhat new (not really new, at all) genre of rap music was introduced to the world, Hipster rap. Some would say that Hipster rap is a sub genre of Alternative rap (alternative to what exactly). A lot of people would trace Alternative rap back to Mos Def, Talib Kweli, and others. I agree, these acts are different from the mainstream Hip-Hop acts that are shown on BET or played on your local stations. Now, I wouldn't trace Hipster rap back to these acts, but rather to one act, Kanye West. You all know the lyrics, "What if somebody from the Chi, that was ill, got a deal / on the hottest rap label around? / But he was talking bout coke and birds, it was more like spoken word...". In this new era of Hip-Hop, where everyone was a drug dealer, turned rapper, turned baller (kind of a mix of Golden Age themes and Jiggy Era subject), Kanye was praised for being different. He was the child of a professor, his father was a photojournalist / ex-Black Panther. He attended college. He rapped about personal issues, Jesus Christ, fashion, politics, etc.. While the rest of the Hip-Hop nation was either leaning and rocking with it or flipping birds, West was finding ways to stay away from the norm. Contrary to popular belief (and T-Pain), Mr. West introduced the rap world to the "Auto-Tune" (a crappy computerize version of the Talk-Box made famous by Roger Troutman and Parliament/Funkadelic). His over the top wardrobe and stage shows have made him a style icon. And in 2004, with the release of "The College Dropout", Mr. West changed the game, in the same manner as Puff Daddy did back in 1997. After Kanye's success with being "different", other rappers came out and attempted to shine by being "different". From Kanye came Lupe Fiasco, who raps about robots and manga (and dresses like a drunk Kanye, I like to refer to him as "Kanye Lite"), Kid Sister, who raps about nails and beepers (and only has a deal because she's dating Kanye's DJ), The Cool Kids, who rap about nothing, like a "Seinfeld" episode (and wear the tightest jeans I've ever seen), Jay Electronica, Kid Cudi, Wale, Izza Kizza, and sometimes Kidz in the Hall (who I wouldn't put in the same category as the rest of these sucky people, they are actually good). I guess most people define Hipster rappers as people with a fascination with retro clothing and 80's culture (half these kids didn't even grow up in the 80's), and dress different from the status-quo (even though once everyone is wearing it, it makes it the norm), and most often, wear tight jeans (especially them damn Cool Kids). Some people have said that Hipster rap doesn't exist, but I believe it does, and it sucks. All these young kids, they're reminiscing bout an era that bred AIDS, crack and Ronald Reagan, name one thing good about the 80's (besides this fly Sergio Tacchini suit and dope pair of Troops'). I mean, seriously, if I wanted to listen to nonsensical 80's type music, I'd blow the dust off of "Youngest in Charge" and listen to Special Ed rap about his dog's solid gold bone. Why would I want a pale imitation of the music that I grew up on? Thanks to Kanye West, everyday I am surrounded by tight jeans and DayGlo sneakers. My delicate eyes are bombarded with pictures from Complex magazine in real life. Come on now, his influence is so embedded in Hip-Hop that they have sites dedicated to dressing like Kanye West (oh lord, why?). I don't know about anybody else, but I can't wait until the new thing comes and outshines Hipster rap. I'm starting to hate thinking that I'm in Juice whenever I'm riding the train, looking behind my back at the kid with the Bishop hair cut (get a Caesar, nigga).

Remember the world is Diggie. Even the "Ladybug" told you this was a Diggie-ble Planet. I'm cool like that!




Editors Note : Before any smart ass says it, let me clear it up. Andre 3000 is not responsible for Hipster rap! Even though he was rhyming about alternative subject matter and dressing as crazy as he could, people didn't call him groundbreaking, they called him weird. Not until Kanye West came and did the same thing that Andre had already been doing, did it become innovative and forward thinking. It is funny, however, that years after Andre lived as an outcast (get it), he is now getting the recognition that he deserves.

You Cant Tell Me Nothing!

So, this morning I'm checking out nahright.com, to stay in tune with the "Hip-Hop Culture", and there is an article about Francois Girbaud. Apparently, Monsieur Girbaud, owner of a popular clothing brand in some "hoods" (made famous by Cash Money Records), doesn't like the direction that his clothing company was moving in or its Hip-Hop following. This made me think back to the other Caucasian businessmen that didn't appreciate the African American business they were receiving. I thought of Tommy Hilfiger, the Swartz family at Timberland (even though they change their mind after the quarterly reports came in), Cristal, and others. See, normally, I would be angered by Monsieur Girbaud, but I am not. I am more angered by the "Hip-Hop" people that get offended by these businesses. What made these "ghetto youths" think that these brands were marketed to them? Has Cristal ever put an advertisement in the Source, XXL, or the Vibe? Does Tommy Hilfiger sell his wears in Jimmy Jazz or V.I.M.? How many of you Negroes have ever picked up the Robb Report? Understand, luxury brands are marketed to those living luxurious lives, not those trying to be hood rich! People like Jay-Z and Diddy, who vacation in Nice, Saint-Tropez, Monaco, and the rest of the Côte d'Azur (if you don't know where it is, you're not "ballin"), have been working hard to live their luxurious lives. You on the other hand, have been making payments on a Lexus IS or ES, vacationing on Virginia Beach, wearing Red Monkeys and Evisus. These Caucasian businessmen (unlike their Asian counterparts who raise the price in America, because they know niggas are stupid), are selling their products to other Caucasian businessmen. The "Hip-Hop community" is full of fantastic dreamers, living in outer space. I'm not putting down anybody that enjoys the finer things in life; I'm putting down those that have a false sense of reality. Just because you put on a pair of Yves Saint-Laurent sunglasses or a Christian Dior belt, you're not on the same level as a Kanye West or a 50 Cent. Until you move from South Jamaica, Queens or Brownsville, Brooklyn to a mansion in Lake Tahoe or Martha's Vineyard, you're not really "ballin". It's hilarious to me, because I live in New York, between Manhattan and Long Island (famed for the Hampton's), and I see these young dudes so-called "ballin", and they're really not. These are dudes that are associated with "Hip-Hop", a misogynistic, homophobic, racist and violent culture. And it's these same dudes that are outraged when a Caucasian businessman doesn't want to be aligned with this culture. Why would anybody trying to maintain a respectable name associate with such ignorant material? I have to admit, I'm guilty of the whole "ballin" thing, and the only difference is I know my limits. I know where I go, I know what I have and I know what I do. When I say "I'm chilling at the beach on the weekend", I'm not talking about Orchid Beach or Coney Island, when I say "I've packed for the weekend", best believe the bag is an authentic Louis Vuitton, and if I say "grab a bottle", I'm not talking about cognac or vodka. I may be trapped in the poisoned mind state that the rest of "Hip-Hop culture" is trapped in, but at least, I know what's real and what's not. What makes it even sadder, is that most of these "Hip-Hop" dudes are in their thirties, maybe thirty isn't the new twenty, and maybe thirty is a little more immature.

Peace, I mean WAR!

If sexy never left, why is everybody on my ....?

Today I sit contemplating which one of my dozen or so pairs of shoes I should wear with which one of my twenty or so pairs of pants. The fore mentioned statement wasn't meant to be a boast or brag of sorts, but rather the folly that leads me into my entry today. See, like many men in today's "Esquire" society, I try to keep up with the latest trends and popular styles. Through my spectacles I see the lost of "manliness", as it once existed. Facials, manicures, pedicures, spa days, Botox injections, muscle scoping (I'm looking at LL Cool J), etcetera, these treatments are all things that the male gender spends millions on annually. Some of these beauty treatments have been used by men for centuries, but in my opinion, have gotten a little out of hand. Let's approach the subject from an anthropological point of view. In ancient societies, kings and men of the noble order would preen and pamper themselves in the pursuit of beautification (even though it must be stated, most of these men weren't "manly"; I'm looking at Ancient Rome). The worth and nobility of a man was seen through his armor, his formal wear, or the adornments upon his attire. For a time in America, man was seen as just that, a man, defined by his ruggedness and his animalistic nature. During the age of dust storms and gun wielding horse riders, men were the masculine counterpart to the prim and prissy women of that period. Now onto today and why I say that man, as he were, is almost no more. I am a twenty-five year old, African American male, from Queens, NY, so I was virtually born into Hip-Hop culture, so that is where I'll direct my ire at that first. For years, the pupils of "The School Of Hard Knocks" have always maintained a somewhat basic uniform consisting of baggy jeans, a hoodie or tee-shirt, and sneakers or Timberland boots. But with the rise of today's Hip-Hop youth, the uniform has transformed into tight jeans (Jim Jones), young shirts (Lil Wayne), and Day-Glo sneakers (anyone that wears A Bathing Ape's). The style icons for Hip-Hop culture have seemed to have shifted from prison inmates to the residents of New York City's famed (and homosexually driven) Village. For the other people in my age bracket of twenty-five through thirty (who have given up on the near dead Hip-Hop culture) have also changed and shifted our sense of fashion. In the Eighties, fashion was a female driven industry. Designers crafted expensive items for their female consumers, men being delegated to shopping for function rather than fashion (unless they were gay, lived in Miami, or was a member of the Lo-Life's). In today's market, men are consumers of the same four hundred dollar jeans as women, designer shoes, hundred dollar shirts, and diamond encrusted jewelry (diamonds are a GIRLS best friend, not yours son). I too am a victim of today's "War against Manliness", I too get mani-pedi's, I too exfoliate and moisturize daily, I too seek the latest styles and hottest trends, and I too try to "preserve my sexy". My living room table has a stack of magazines with titles that read off, "GQ: Gentlemen's Quarterly", "Esquire", "Complex", "Details" and "Men's Vogue". But now I ask, with ruggedness and masculinity slowly being chipped away, chivalry being long dead, and the rise of the "Independent Women", what will happen to "man" in the future? The magazine "Esquire" is subtitled "Man at His Best", but at this current moment, is man actually at his best? Stop the pussification of man (go chop down a tree or something).

Peace, I mean WAR!

I try to pretend that I'm different, but in the end we're all the same!

Now onto some real shit, it's the return of the gangster (been vibing on Outkast again). I've been trying to get accustomed to my new "hood", it's slightly different from my old "hood". I moved to Rosedale, NY (which these niglets refer to as Mobzdale, it's a blood thing), and the niglets are different around these parts. Back in The Rock (6th borough to the death), the niglets did their niggerish deeds with more flair and finesse, out here they just follow the trends. I'm going to veer for a second and tell a story of one of my folk. One of my folks is, lets say obsessed (or has a man crush on) a famous rapper. He goes by the same name as the rapper, he emulates the rappers actions and tries to be just like this rapper. Now anybody that knows me, knows I'm a Jay-Z fan, I wish I had his money, his girlfriend, but I would never "swagger-jack" Jay-Z, like my boy has done to his favorite rapper. My family knows exactly who I'm talking about and it's kind of sad that he wants to be so much like this dude that looks like the rabbit from Donnie Darko. This actually further explains the niglets in my new "hood". They all dress like Jim Jones, with tight pants pulled down to their knees, wallet chains with no wallets, t-shirts over thermals, and the new thing, skull chains and belt buckles. Back in The Rock, at least the niglets had their own style (except for a few). I've listen to Tru Life, Nas, Jay-Z and others talking about the way New York dudes are biting other parts of the country, and for a few days I wanted to disagree, but I came to realize that it was a truthful statement. I'm proud to be myself and not a cheap rip-off of a rapper. I'm so tired of the fake Jim Jones', Lil Wayne's, T.I.'s, Kanye West's, Game's, etc. Be your own man, not a little somebody else. Also anyone that needs a good laugh, check this Cam'ron video out.

Peace, I mean WAR!

Rock 6:59

I worked retail for the holiday season to get a little extra scrilla, and I watch the niglets in my hood, and it disgusted me. Why is every little niglet dressing like Jim Jones and Lil Wayne? What's with the tight long sleeve tee's and long johns and the colorful oversized hoodies? What's the deal with the wallet chains with no money in the wallet? Ed Hardy is some of the ugliest clothing ever made! I couldn't even walk in the "urban" section. Akademiks (it's ironic that academics is a word linked to education and they can't even spell it right) is outrageous with their name written across the ass of the jeans. ENYCE ( is it pronounced "en-each-ee" or "n-y-c") has their name sprawled across their clothing also. Then you have Rocawear, Sean John, LRG, Coogi, etc, and they all look the same. Why would anybody want to be a billboard for any company is boggling to me (I say that even though all my shirts have a little polo player on them)? How do these niglets buy pants without knowing their waist size, they obviously don't know what a waist is, they can't where their pants on it (I sound like an old person). It just irks me to see these kids imitating these idiot rappers. At least imitate somebody with real deep pockets like Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or the Walton family (read a magazine besides XXL or The Source niglets). Lil Wayne and Jim Jones will never be in Forbes (my dudes Hova and 50 were). When your favorite rappers talk about money, they are speaking about something they don't know about either. In the words of TLC, "don't go chasing waterfalls", that rapper you idolize isn't going to grab your hand when you're falling off the edge.

Peace, I mean WAR!

P.S.- Jay-Z lyric is needed to end this entry - "....Fortune Five, top five in the Forbes, you'll see / as you thumb through the Source, I read the Robb Report...."

What Is Up With That?

So I'm from the "hood" (Far Rockaway, Queens stand up), and being from the "hood" I'm constantly surrounded by ignorance or as we call them "niggas". Now don't get it twisted, I'm not calling African-Americans "niggas", we got Puerto Rican "niggas", Dominican "niggas", Caucasian "niggas", a virtual cornucopia of "niggas" (not many Asian "niggas" though, for some reason). Okay I think I used the word "nigga" enough! Now to the point I was trying to make. Everyday when I walk out of my front door its the same scene. Young men in white tee's long enough to be considered a dress, fifteen and sixteen year old mothers, young girls dressed like strippers (she's only five for God's sake, Latoya), welfare recipients with cars and clothes better than mine (alright the cars are better, but the God stays fly), and the top "hood" sighting, a fat broad wearing an outfit that her hot skinny friend shouldn't even wear (take that damn halter top off Lakeisha). I feel sorry for the kids in the suburbs that watch BET and emulate this sad existence we live in. I mean I owned a couple "d-boy uniform" shirts, I done gave a couple fifteen and sixteen year olds the "bidness" (when I was sixteen, my name isn't Uncle Vito[Viva La Bam]), and I believe fat girls need love too (not from the God though). But please can we all come to an understanding and tone down the "hood". When you drive your Lexus that you paid for with illegitimate funds, please turn the P. Diddy down (turn the Dip Set off). When you mothers take your kid out the house, put some clothes on her (no more kids outside with only diapers). Excuse me fat girl, yeah you, that outfit wasn't made for you, that's why they have Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant for. And to the young mothers, close your legs you "slore" (that's slut / whore, for the Dee Dee Dee's). In closing, I hope that we can come together when we need to, not just when the "man" screws us over.

P.S.- Um, "niggas" bandanas are for cowboys, I don't see no horses in Brooklyn (except that girl in the club last night), so put the soldier rag on the floor and back away slowly (you "niggas" know the routine).

Peace, I mean WAR!