My life is in suspended animation at this exact moment and I don't know what I need to get me out of this seemingly perpetual social coma. I can't find that excitement that people seek when they go out to clubs and events. To be completely honest, I don't actually know what people are looking for when they go out to clubs and events. I've never really been a club type of dude, I usually just went because it was one of my folks parties or it was a night when I had nothing better to do. I'd walk in the club, and just play the wall, angry at the d.j.'s choice of spins, or mad that that girls with that dude. I'm not an angry dude, I'm not in an everlasting bad mood, my "ice-grill" is just a defense mechanism that keeps people from annoying me. My grimace is not directed at anything in particular, I just never got into the whole ten dollar drink, bad music, dressing up to impress nobody, fronting for girls that look good in dark lighting, club thing. Most the time, when I'm in a club, I'm more enjoying the music than trying to hook up with a female. I might dance a little bit, but I'm not Deney Terrio (too far back for some), and like most dudes my height, my knees can only take so much. I don't drink that much either, being inebriated hasn't exited me since I was nineteen. Maybe I'm just always looking for a letdown, maybe I'm a pessimist, but I've just never gotten anything out of the club scene. One of my folks once told me that a female you meet in a club is just not a female you want to keep outside of the club, that's her habitat and outside of that she doesn't know how to live (he was the loneliest person I've ever met). Another of my folks (a very unsociable dude) told me that clubs are just havens for ill deeds and raunchy acts. Maybe I'm looking to deep in the whole club scene, maybe it's just people getting together to enjoy music, alcohol, and the company of others. Maybe I need to get out more and stop looking for a deeper meaning to everything. Maybe I over think a lot of the time, and take life and myself way too serious. Maybe I shouldn't be looking so hard for that special whatever, maybe whatever I need will fall in my lap (like when we in Brooklyn at the spot). I apologize to anyone that read this and was looking for something insightful, I just had to vent on this one.
Peace, I mean WAR!