Thursday, August 31, 2006

Lowered Expectations

Is it just me, but does everyone in the world look for unattainable, crazy goals in their lives. I'm not talking about having a mansion, a luxury automobile, or a yacht, those are very attainable (just ask P Diddy). The unattainable goals I'm talking about is the perfect mate, the perfect family, you know anything perfect. To be human is to err, so how can anybody expect anybody else to be perfect. Everybody has a fault, and I mean everybody. For instance, take Beyonce, a lot of men consider her perfect, but I used to work in the airport, screening bags, and her panties had tread marks in them. Take your family for example, I'm sure there is a drunken uncle somewhere or an insane aunt up your family tree. So I've embraced my family being a little left of the sanity meter, hell, I am. I've embrace the fact that Alicia Keys probably has some beat up ass toes or something. I've stopped shooting for perfect, but unlike most of my friends (they shoot for easy) I'm shooting for damn near close to perfect. I'm dead sexy and I can never settle for a girl that ain't as sexy as the God!

P.S. : Beyonce, its all good, I had streaks in my drawers before. I still love you baby!

Peace, I mean WAR!

Monday, August 28, 2006

What Is Up With That?

So I'm from the "hood" (Far Rockaway, Queens stand up), and being from the "hood" I'm constantly surrounded by ignorance or as we call them "niggas". Now don't get it twisted, I'm not calling African-Americans "niggas", we got Puerto Rican "niggas", Dominican "niggas", Caucasian "niggas", a virtual cornucopia of "niggas" (not many Asian "niggas" though, for some reason). Okay I think I used the word "nigga" enough! Now to the point I was trying to make. Everyday when I walk out of my front door its the same scene. Young men in white tee's long enough to be considered a dress, fifteen and sixteen year old mothers, young girls dressed like strippers (she's only five for God's sake, Latoya), welfare recipients with cars and clothes better than mine (alright the cars are better, but the God stays fly), and the top "hood" sighting, a fat broad wearing an outfit that her hot skinny friend shouldn't even wear (take that damn halter top off Lakeisha). I feel sorry for the kids in the suburbs that watch BET and emulate this sad existence we live in. I mean I owned a couple "d-boy uniform" shirts, I done gave a couple fifteen and sixteen year olds the "bidness" (when I was sixteen, my name isn't Uncle Vito[Viva La Bam]), and I believe fat girls need love too (not from the God though). But please can we all come to an understanding and tone down the "hood". When you drive your Lexus that you paid for with illegitimate funds, please turn the P. Diddy down (turn the Dip Set off). When you mothers take your kid out the house, put some clothes on her (no more kids outside with only diapers). Excuse me fat girl, yeah you, that outfit wasn't made for you, that's why they have Ashley Stewart and Lane Bryant for. And to the young mothers, close your legs you "slore" (that's slut / whore, for the Dee Dee Dee's). In closing, I hope that we can come together when we need to, not just when the "man" screws us over.

P.S.- Um, "niggas" bandanas are for cowboys, I don't see no horses in Brooklyn (except that girl in the club last night), so put the soldier rag on the floor and back away slowly (you "niggas" know the routine).

Peace, I mean WAR!

Great Hov!

As I sit here this morning watching MTV, I ponder the next turn for the almost dead "Hip-Hop" culture (Nas' new album coming soon). I was wondering is every rapper from Atlanta a version of Young Jeezy or a version of T.I.. Is every New York / East coast rapper in a set like Juelz Santana (Jim Jones on YouTube). Why do all Houston rappers rhyme about sipping Lean and rocking grills with the exception of Chamillionaire (where's Scarface when we need him). Why is everybody dancing, what is Hyphy, why are they leaning and rocking and please put down the chicken noodle soup (I'll take the soda). I was glancing at a Smack DVD and I realized that every "underground" New York cat proclaims to be the second coming of Jay-Z (his album coming soon). Does Fat Joe still believe he is the savior of New York rap? Is 50 Cent co-executive producing everybody's album this year (Lil Scrappy, Freeway and LL Cool J)? On a reggae note, why does Sean Paul do the same dance in every video? And if Justin Timberlake is bringing "Sexy Back", then I presume ProActiv didn't preserve Diddy's sexy. I need everybody reading this in the New York / New Jersey area to watch the Bridge on channel 25 on Friday or Saturday at 11:00pm or Thursday at 9:00pm. This could help us resuscitate this ailing genre of music. Oh yeah, everybody help Diddy preserve his sexy and moisturize his situation by purchasing a bootleg of "Press Play" and tossing it out of your car window driving down your nearest highway.

Peace, I mean WAR!